Many of you aren’t addicts. You are physically dependent on prescription pain killers but you don’t take them for the “high”. You take them to “feel normal” and to help treat pain that was once there but now has been replaced by a mirage that feels like pain. And now you’re stuck. You may have read some of my blog posts and not been able to relate simply because you have not developed that type of “relationship” with the medication that many of us have. Your relationship (heh…heh) is purely physical and it can be a maddening situation to be in.
For those of you who are just physically dependent, taking your pain medication doesn’t mean much to you other than the fact that it helps with pain and it helps stave off any sickness you might have by going off of it. You read some of my blog posts about “taking flight” or “counting pills 5 times a day” and say to yourself, “what is this guy talking about?!”
Well, the fact is that many of you don’t take the pills for the “high” or for that euphoric feeling and now you’ve been on them so long, your body has become hooked, but not necessarily your mind. And now that you want to get off of them, your doctor has no answer for you and the thought of a rehab facility is so foreign and seems so drastic that you may feel like there’s nothing out there that can help you. Why doesn’t anybody understand that you just want to get off the damn pills?!
The distinction between being emotionally attached to a specific drug and physically attached to a pain killer is one that has to be made because there are physically dependent people who don’t need counseling, or rehab, or therapy or AA meetings or any of that stuff. You just need to get off of the medication and get on with your life. And you worry that if you try to tell someone about your physical dependence that they will immediately look at you and give you some sort of thin-lipped response like “sure Fred, of course you aren’t addicted…just need ‘em for the pain right?”
“The pain” can often be a lot worse when you’re on pain killers because your brain is sly, it knows how to get you to act and give it the pills it thinks it needs…Brain: “Fred needs some pain to take the pills eh? Well I’ll give him some pain alright. How’s about some throbbing lower back pain with a scorching side of sciatica?” Your brain will do anything it can to make sure you don’t send it into withdrawal and if it’s pain you need, it’s pain you get.
In my case, I had a lot of pain and then eventually became an addict for the “high.” However, I noticed that when I finally got off of the pills, my back pain became a lot better. Although I initially used the pills for back pain and neck pain, I eventually became emotionally attached to the buzz and didn’t really think of the pain killers as something for physical pain. But you may be different and you may just need some help quitting the pills and that’s all you’ll ever need. For some of you, taking that “first step” is the only step you’ll ever need to take. So don’t feel ashamed to raise your hand and say, “yeah, I’m addicted but I’m not an addict.” In fact count yourself as one of the lucky ones and take your first step now because I can tell you from experience that it’s much easier to end a physical relationship than an emotional one.
-G
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George,
I am very comforted by your strength and sense of humor. I grew up dealing with my parent’s addictions to alcohol and whatever else I was too young to understand. I swore I would not live that way, but the best layed plans. I have battled alcoholism my entire adult life. I began recovery at the age of 26 and have been seeking health physically, mentally and most importantly spiritually ever sense. To add to my illness I became addicted to tramadol after a bacterial infection ate large holes in my lungs about nine years ago. Tramadol was orginally marketed as the safe pain medication. I suppose that is why it is so easy to get. It is sold over the internet right along with Celebrex. It is, however, very addictive. I have spent the last five years trying to recover. There is no real help for an opiate addiction. But I have tried many things and read many books. My goal is to be healthy by the time I turn fifty in August of this year. I don’t believe I have experienced much life with a healthy brain. I am no longer consuming alcohol and my tramadol intake is down to six a day. I was averaging 35 a day and got as high as 50 a day. I just need to know that there is something on the other side if I can just get myself healthy. I believe your experience and your blog truly help in that way. I don’t want to believe that I am just too weak. It has been such a long road. I would like to do something more with my energy and time than just try to survive and be healthy. Thanks for your time.
Cheri Washington State
Hi Cheri. I just saw your comments and I think you’ve got one thing going for you that you may not realize…healthy perspective. You know what’s real and what’s not and I think you understand that it IS possible to not be trapped and lonely with just you and your Tramadol. You say, “there must be something better than this!” and I agree and there IS. I’m glad that my posts have been helpful and I suppose it’s always comforting to know that someone else may have been through what you’re going through and got to the other side and is enjoying things once again. I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with your brain per se…although I’m not a psychologist, there’s just something wrong with your lifestyle and relative to any chronic psychological issues, a lifestyle is easy to fix eh? Ultram has been lauded as a wonder drug as they all are…60% of the pharmaceuticals are taken by US citizens even though we make up 1% of the population!
So what’s stopping you from not taking that 6 a day? Withdrawals? What’s a couple weeks or less of being sick compared to the years of misery that it has caused? Mouse nuts!!! Give yourself a chance without them and see what happens. There’s always hope and always a way back…you just need to take the first step…and repeat.
George,
This was the first time I read something about addiction where I really felt I could relate. Thank you! I have been on 5mg Oxy’s 4x’s dy for 10yrs because of a bad car accident & took as perscribed. Eventally, I had to take them just to feel normal & I wondered (still do) if the pills where causing the pain over time. Recently I have noticed the pain decrease (thx to alternative therapy’s) & I want off the pills. Needless to say it has not been easy. I’m just thankful to have read your article because I don’t have many of the “addict behaviors” I hear people talk about & I couldn’t relate to anyone.
I just recieved withdrawl-ease today & I’m excited to start.
Thank you!
Thanks Jeanine! It’s always good to hear that people can relate to what I’m saying. It’s exactly what I’m trying to accomplish with the site. There’s a whole bunch of people out there like you and me who don’t fit the typical mold of “addict” and it’s hard to get help when you feel as though nobody understands where you’re coming from. Good luck to you and I hope you have a good experience with the product. Stay patient and you’ll make it.
George,
I’m in the plan making to get off oxycodone 3o mgs 5xday right now. I have always had back pain and started taking oxycodone for recreational use almost two years ago and a year ago I detoxed off of them. After I went off of them I had widespread pain through out my body for several months. This new pain would not go away and eventually I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and a couple forms of arthritis. So, I went to a doctor and now I’m doing pain management. I don’t know if it is really the diagnosis or the pain killers were doing this to me. Do you have any answers? I don’t want to be on pain killers anymore. Will my pain go away?
Hi Kristen. Fibromyalgia is one of the most painful conditions one can get; I’m so sorry that you’re having to go through this! With a condition like Fibromyalgia, the pain is quite real and I would take the advice of your doctors about your pain management. Neuropathy (neuropathic pain) is really hard to treat and is so frustrating because there’s no “boo-boo” to rub or anything like that…it’s all in your “electrical system” and it hurts! I had a lot of nerve pain when I had my back surgeries and it was the worst. Anyways, there are a lot of ways to manage your pain but I do not think that the drugs are the factor, it’s the fibromyalgia. Unfortunately, I think you have to get into the mindset that this is a chronic condition that you will have to take medication for; possibly for the rest of your life. It just so happens that this medication is narcotic. It’s OK to take narcotics on for a chronic disease. So my advice is listen to your pain docs and try to not feel so guilty about the meds…you need ‘em
Hi. i got in a car crash about a year ago in have been taking oxycodone 30mg,between 120mg to 180mg daily.My back pain is much better but now im addited to these pills. The withdrawls are just horrible.I wus taking subboxone but couldnt afford it.so i started taking the 30mgg again.My question to you is,my withdrawls im sure is lke most,but my body aches,chill/hot,legs feel like i need to walk million miles,goosebumps and i feel so physicaly sick i cant do anything including eating. how will this procuct work compared to how suboxone works!. Thanks
George,
I was prescribed Percocet years ago for Bursytis in both hips and for pain from Fibromyalgia and for Endometriosos. I had a full hysterectomy and got rid of the pain from that. In 2007 I fell from a 2nd story roof. I broke my pelvis in 5 places and had a Tibea Plateau fracture of my left leg. I was then given Oxycontin and more Percocet.I asked to be taken off the oxycontin and instead was given Opana. I don’t take these meds for the “high” but for the pain and sickness I feel If I miss a dose. I am currently on meds for Bi-Polar disorder and have been institunonalized for 5 suicide attempts. I am currently taking Klonopin, Cymbalta, Seroquel, Nuerontin, Ritalin for ADD and Zeigrid for Acid Reflux. I want off the pain meds as I think it’s more the dependency so I don’t withdraw. If I go 2 hours without the opiates I start to withdraw. I am on disability and really can’t afford or feel the need for a rehab, nor can I really afford your system. My question is how can I safely and with minimal discomfort detox myself from these pain meds? I would love to not have to take these meds for pain. What can I do?
Thank you for any input you can give me.
Hi Michelle. You have quite a bit of misfortune and I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through this! The issue that worries me about you Michelle is your depression and suicidal tendencies. Can you please email me at Georgec@withdrawal-Ease and we’ll figure out how to proceed.