I want to talk a little bit more about the Top 10 Reasons To Quit Pain Killers because they really are the main tenets of the site. I don’t go into much detail about each one on the main page because it’s a list…lists are supposed to be short. So here’s the first in a series if you will…
Back in the day (slang for “when I was taking pills”), I could look at a bottle of Norco 10/325′s and guess within 4-5 pills how many were in the bottle at any given time. Yeah, yeah, I know I counted them obssessively probably 5 times a day but still it was uncanny how I was so accurate. You probably are too.
Cue inner monologue: “Eh, probably 55 left with 12 days until earliest possible refill (usually 2-3 days prior to last month’s refill), not including the refill day…ok so that’s ummm…ummm, I need a calculator. Ok so, 55 divided by 12 is 4.58 per day…let’s just round up to 5 per day; it sounds better. 5 per day. I’m currently taking 9 per day so at the current rate I have (calculator) 6 more days of pills. If I’m good that means I need to do 2 in the am and 3 in the pm. Not gonna happen. I could do 3 in the am and 4 in the pm…(calculator)…roughly 8 days worth…crap….(do calculator thing 3 more times hoping that it gives me a different number). I need to count the pills again (4th time within the hour). Still the same number…double crap! Ok well, I’m not going to run out today, and not going to run out tomorrow, so I’m not going to worry about it…4 pills (gulp).”
Many of you know EXACTLY what I’m talking about in the little passage above. It goes on, and the endless excuses for why you need to take the full dose ensue and you never taper. Ever. Then you deal with the withdrawals and go back and forth about how soon in advance you can call your pharmacist and come up with some story about being out of town and needing to get the refill sooner. You feel so sick. But you never learn. And oh, by the way, the “highs” are getting a bit shorter, a lot less “shimmery” and that leads to frustration and anger.
You bump up your dose but there’s that fine line where if you take too much you just get the “rage” and if you take too little you don’t feel anything at all. To the person reading this, don’t think you’re different or particularly strange when you do all of this ritualistic pill counting and pathological rationalization for why you shouldn’t stop…and why you shouldn’t change your dose etc. It’s all part of the game. And it doesn’t get better unfortunately (I want a new drug…la…la – Huey Lewis anyone…anyone?).
I’ll cut to the chase and tell you where this story all ends for most people. Spending more and more money for more pills with no “high” and the looming specture of a mammoth withdrawal along with a steady diet of rage and depression. That’s what you get when you get to the end. I wonder how many of you are at the end…take that first step.
Links to other “Top Ten Reasons To Quit Pain Killers In-Depth” Posts:
Reason #2: “Your Work Is Suffering”
Reason #3: “You Can’t Remember All of the Good Stuff”
Reason #4: “Your Children Know and They’re Concerned”
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